Cancer update: In the middle of current chemo round 5. Things are going pretty well, considering this is day 3 and I feel good. Progress, I'd say. Maybe this old bod is getting used to the routine of being walloped every 3 weeks with this strange combination of unknowns.
In the middle of a never-ending winter here...nearly to May with snow still on the ground and more coming our way soon. Saw a random sign of spring this AM which inspired me to write. A very plump chested robin scrounging in my still snow-covered flower bed. Looking and hoping and waiting....just like me.
Learning to live with the uncertainty of metastatic cancer patients everywhere. Doing what I'm told, wondering if it's enough, wondering if I should be doing more to save myself. Well meaning friends and relatives are sending me diets to try....starve the cancer cells, feed the good cells, eat protein, don't eat meat, eat dairy, don't eat dairy. It's all overwhelming to me, and I don't know whether to ignore them all or try everything. So instead I do nothing different....trusting my fate to an oncologist who really doesn't seem to give a damn whether I live or die.
Ticking things off the "to-do" list makes me feel productive, so spending my pre-chemo morning hours doing just that. Back to work tomorrow, so nothing life-changing gets done then...
News from the doc this week was that after #6, we'll scan again and determine whether we do:
1) Nothing because scan now indicates NED
2) Back to more chemo if activity still exists
No surgery option, according to her although I could have sworn the liver doc said we'd revisit after chemo. Found some other options on-line ( I know, I know.....don't ever visit Dr.Google).....chemoembolism, liver tumor ablation, etc. Worth checking? Hate to step on doc's toes, but then again it's my life at stake. Decided to wait and see what next scan says, then proceed.
All this waiting around is testing my admittedly short patience level.
Me and the robin....waiting for the thaw.
