I get the occasional request for "updates", and I'm not sure how to respond.
I really can't think of a standard answer....where to start?
I could go into detail about how shitty I feel for days after chemo; could talk about the weird pressure in my throat and chest that is begging me to stop the madness.
I could talk about how this whole pain in the ass routine is going to be with me for the rest of my life, or at least until I throw up the STOP sign.
I could talk about the latest scan results, or the latest battle with the insurance company.
But I really don't want to. The whole business gives me a bad taste in my mouth. Why would I want to savor it? I don't want to go over it again, because you see, these "updates" are not really news--they are just the new normal of my life.
I have nothing more interesting to say than the dopey people who post about how best to clean your hardwood floors or make your windows shine.
This cancer crap is just boring, routine stuff that I'd rather not repeat. Rather not talk about. Rather not write about. Guess that makes me worthless as a cancer blogger, eh? Might be time to hang it up entirely since I spend so much time avoiding it.
So instead I answer with all the bluntness I can muster. There is no update. My disease is terminal. We all deal with it as needed, when we're forced to. It's just so much easier to avoid it entirely. I'm too damn busy living day to day to come up with anything profound.
