Not the best news

I've been avoiding this for awhile now...its as difficult to write about as it is to talk about.
Gradually over the past week or so, the truth of the situation has slowly sifted through me.
Call me dense.  It's taken awhile. Apparently it's not like in the movies when the doc says "sorry ma'am, but you only have xxx months to live."  I had to read between the lines, make some inferences based on experience, and then do a little research on my own. 
Some phrases I remember:
"We don't have a crystal ball".
"We're going to treat it very aggressively, because of your age"  (which made me wonder....does that mean they DON'T treat older people aggresively?)
"You might want to make sure you have a will; take care of your children"
"Cancerous cells in the liver indicate that they're in the bloodstream, which means a new level of pervasiveness"
"Gradually, the chemo stops working"

I started this blog in an effort to inspire other women facing vaginal cancer.  I'm sorry if I'm not being very inspirational right now. This blog may take a new turn....
Basically right now I am just pissed.  Trying to stay positive, but I really have no idea what to do or how to deal with this.  Everytime I think about all the details I wanted to see watching my daughter grow up, all the life events that will happen without me, I am overwhelmed with sadness and panic. 

Seeing a liver surgeon on Monday. Wish me luck.